"How are you?"
I am sure that my fellow church member meant well. But whether their question was fueled by genuine concern, or by thoughtless routine, I may never be sure.
Nevertheless this brief inquiry sent my mind on a reckless path. My mind flooded with the pain of the past week, with the stress of life, and with endless recollections of the hurt I've faced. But, I braced myself, mustered up a smile, and with practiced ease offered back what has become one of the most common lies of our time:
"I'm good."
Why is it that in today's society, we are so unwilling to share our struggles with others? We neglect sharing our pain with others, when they are the ones who often provide clarity and spiritual insight which help point us back to Christ.
We tend to have such an inflated sense of pride, that we grin and try to put on a happy face, shielding others from the searing pain that we truly feel within our being. There is no need to feel any shame in admitting our problems.
"He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy." - Proverbs 28:13
In our attempts to hide our struggles and our sin from others in order not to be viewed as a hypocrite, we become even bigger hypocrites by portraying lives that we are not truly living. Why? Because everyone else in our church does it too. We don't want to be the only person who struggles.
But next time you are in church, look around. Every single person that you see is dealing with much the same pain as you. The deacon and his wife of fifty years may be suffering a broken marriage. The pianist may be dealing with the death of her only son. The pastor's son may be struggling with an addiction to pornography. They all just might be too ashamed to seek help for they feel as if the church would look down upon and alienate them.
EVERYONE HURTS.
It's inescapable. Unavoidable. This life is full of pain and suffering. There is absolutely no way that we can isolate ourselves from the trials of this earth.
So why hide it? Why act as if we have this pretty little life, when in reality it's only a pretty little lie to cover what is really going on? We are so afraid to let down our masks to reveal what we really struggle with.
"My loss of hope causes me to scramble for safety from behind a mask. The cost is horrific. No one told me that when I wear a mask, only my mask receives love. We can gain admiration and respect from behind a mask. We can even intimidate. But as long as we're behind a mask, any mask, we will not be able to receive love. Then, in our desperation to be loved, we'll rush to fashion more masks, hoping the next will give us what we're longing for: To be known, accepted, trusted, and loved." --from "The Cure" by John Lynch
The origin of the word "hypocrite" comes from ancient Greek, and the plays and dramas which they so famously performed. A hypocrite was one who spoke from behind a mask on stage. He gave himself a false identity and sought to create a believable character which would please the audience.
Unfortunately, this practice has lived on long past the Greeks. We are more than happy to join in the charade, crafting invisible disguises in order to play our parts upon the bigger stage of our lives to please an audience that will never be satisfied with our performance, not matter how convincingly we play the part.
As long as we continue to fashion these masks that we wear, we will never be able to truly experience the things which desire in life. We create these masks in an effort to block out pain, hurt, and judgment, but in reality they block out acceptance, trust, and love, creating an even deeper pain than that which we originally tried to avoid.
We will never fully understand the beauty of being genuine until we stop being fake. Being genuine allows us to experience love in a way never before known. There is something truly special about knowing that you are truly loved and accepted. Christ asks that we come to him as we are. There is no need to act, no need to pretend as if we are something that we are not.
He already knows all that we are, so why try to hide it? We must surrender everything that we are to him and allow him to begin his work of restoration in our lives. He does not allow us to remain the same as when we first come to him, and there is beauty to be found in this sanctification process.
"Is anyone among you suffering? Then he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises. Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins one to another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." - James 5:13-16
I believe that it is time that we finally break down these walls and be open and honest with Christ, each other, and even ourselves. Healing can only begin when we break down our walls, and let others into our lives. But above all, healing begins when we peel back the layers of our facade and let Christ invade every corner of our lives.
